The Humble Gourmand

“My vision of appearing fresh and put-together in my apron was soon sacrificed for the sake of the dinner, and my guests only saw me in ratty jeans, my tech geek T-shirt, messy hair, and said apron. I’m pretty sure I had white bean puree crusted all over myself, too.”

Sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve never thrown a dinner party before? Here are 6 ways to pull it off with ease and avoid winding up stressed in the company of friends (or neighbors, or coworkers, or strangers-to-be-impressed):

1. Know your audience
If you invite your work colleagues and casually say, “Drinks at 6:30, dinner to follow,” know that your 64-year-old boss and his wife will ring your bell at 6:29. Your 40-something coworkers will trickle in between 6:45 and 7:15, and the younger set will follow at 7:30.

To avoid the sheer panic that assuredly will set in at 6:29:02, when you realize your appetizers need another 25 minutes in the oven and dinner has yet to be started, be quite specific in the invitation — whether it’s via email, phone, or in conversation. Give yourself plenty of time. Do it on a Saturday or Sunday night, so you have all day to prepare. Say, “We will sit down to eat at 7:30. Please arrive any time after 6:30 for cocktails.”

Consider inviting different groups of people who have never met each other. It always makes for interesting conversation, and that takes the pressure off the all-pleasing host (you).

2. Plan — and practice — ahead
A high-stakes social gathering at your place with your significant other’s parents on the guest list is not the occasion to attempt complicated recipes for the first time. (Sounds intuitive, but many still put themselves through it!) Don’t be overly ambitious — you’re aiming for solid execution, not complexity. Pick an entree, some side dishes, and a dessert with simplicity in mind. Serve one or two appetizers, not four.

Even more helpfully, do a dry run at least a week before the party. Sit down with the recipes you’ve chosen, make a solid shopping list, and practice making the dishes you’ll need to cook on the big night. Most get-togethers won’t require such military precision, but the principle holds true: a little organization goes a long way.

Finally, if you insist on making something you’ve never made before, make sure there’s plenty of wine to go around. (We kid!)

3. No kitchen heroics necessary
Don’t feel the slightest need to craft an elaborate feast for 20 from scratch, all by your lonesome. Professional chefs don’t do that. When someone offers to bring a salad, say yes. If your main dish is high-maintenance, choose starters and a dessert that can be made ahead or assembled from store-bought ingredients. (Examples: baby carrots and hummus with olive oil and cracked pepper; a cheese plate; fresh berries with ice cream.)

Alternately, do a laissez-faire roast that can be shoved in the oven for two hours while you craft your perfect, individual bowls of French onion soup. Serve a salad that can be assembled earlier that day and kept chilled, or .

No matter what your menu, do all of your prep work a few hours ahead. This includes washing and chopping/dicing/mincing things that need it, and measuring out ingredients. Now you’ll move through the recipes like a pro.

4. Make extra!
When your guests clamor for a second helping of your fabulous veggies or another slice of pear tart, don’t let them down. Have plenty of each dish at the ready! If you’re having four friends over, make enough for six. If it’s 10-12, multiply those recipes to have enough for 15.

You’ll enjoy the leftovers when you’re too burnt out to cook the next day. If it means baking an extra pie that winds up untouched, send it home with one of your guests, or do a 1950s thing and give it to a neighbor. No one turns down pie.

5. Get the tunes going
The day before your fiesta, make two solid playlists (does anyone make mix CDs anymore?). One should consist of background music suited to the nature of the gathering, and the other should be more high-energy — this one’s for the time before anyone arrives, when you’re cleaning up, cooking, and getting ready.

For the former, anything from classic Miles Davis to Thievery Corporation to Schubert to the Grateful Dead can do the trick. It all depends on your taste (and your audience). For the latter, try the Arctic Monkeys, old-school Madonna, the Clash, Gypsy Kings, or whatever gets you moving.

Don’t forget to set the mood, even if your setup involves a hybrid of the dining room table and an old Ikea card table, end-to-end. Turn down the lights, throw a bunch of candles out, and clean up. Be amazed that your place actually looks somewhat charming all of a sudden.

6. Go with the flow
It’s a little cliche, but also the most important point: Stay cool. Expect that at least three things will go wrong: you’ll run out of tomatoes, you’ll discover you need a pastry bag or some other mystery tool midstream, and people won’t be able to find parking. There are limitless permutations of this list.

Above all else, keep in mind that it’s just dinner. Really. Your guests would rather enjoy an evening with you, the relaxed, unflappable host, than have perfectly caramelized creme brulee and identically diced carrots. Be creative and calm, and improvise.

Share your own entertaining horror stories and tips in the comments!

1. escott

   April 16 2:41 p.m. 1

   I'm pretty sure having a basset hound present at the party is also a requirement... but that's just me. Preferably one with a studded collar named Maddy.

2. Alison

   April 17 8:57 a.m. 2

   We should all be so lucky!

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