The Humble Gourmand

Anyone seen the hilarious and marginally offensive “Stuff White People Like” blog? I’m guilty of at least half of the accusations laid against anyone of European-American descent, but two of my favorites are wine and dinner parties — coincidentally two of this issue’s focal points.

Unfortunately, there’s no set rule to bringing wine to a dinner party. One could take a million factors into consideration: the main course, the taste of the host, the tastes of the other guests, the overall cadence of the evening.

You could ask the host what’s on the menu, or whether he or she prefers red or white. I say avoid said questions. Follow these simple rules, and you’ll be in good shape:

For the Guest:

1. Don’t worry about cuisine so much. Unless your host is serving serious steak, you really can’t go wrong with a light red — it goes with so much, and its subtleties bring out the best in many a dish. Some to consider: Pinot Noir, Sangiovese, Dolcetto, or a Beajuolais.

2. If you’re specificially told to bring a white, stay away from the sweet stuff. Few people really like sweet wine and, with a few exceptions, it doesn’t have the structure to hold up to a thoughtfully prepared meal (and you want to thank your host by letting the meal shine with the best wine possible). Alternately, a lot of people are turned off by Chardonnay, but as I’ve noted in before, a white Burgundy is a great alternative — it’s Chardonnay, but no one has to know that. Look for a Macon-Villages or a Pouilly-Fuisse.

3. For a showstopper or special occasion, try a Chablis (the real kind, not the stuff in a jug) or a Barolo. They’re going to be pricier, but well worth it: a good Chablis starts at around $20 a bottle and only goes up from there, and one rarely sees a Barolo for under $40. Consult the wine expert in your store before purchasing if you’re nervous about dropping that much on something you’ve never had.

4. If your guest asks you to bring a dessert wine, Sauternes is liquid gold. Literally, it looks like liquid gold. A fun alternative (and a way to bring in a sweet wine!) would be a late-harvest Reisling, a Gewürztraminer, or even a Pinot Blanc. All will be more dry than the Sauternes, but they’re all wonderful with dessert.

5. Lastly and less wine-relatedly, if the host asks you to bring an after-dinner drink, think beyond Bailey’s or Sambuca. Calvados (apple brandy) or Armagnac are elegant and aromatic sippers. If you want something slightly more sweet, limoncello is wonderful. A word of caution: plan to end your evening soon afterward. Not that I know from experience.

For the Host:

1. Buy the right wine glasses. This doesn’t have to involve spending a fortune, but even the cheapest wine is more elegant (and more oxygenated) in large-bulb glasses.

2. Buy a decanter for reds. It smooths out even the roughest wine and just looks really badass.

3. To help out your guests, be as specific as possible. Don’t leave them with the vague, “Oh, something white.” Tell them you want a Sauvignon Blanc or a Chardonnay, then let them go from there. It’ll save them time panicking in the wine store.

4. If you are serving wine that you bought, go with a mix of reds and whites — some folks like both. To keep it simple, pick a crisp white (maybe a white Bordeaux or a Chilean Sauvignon Blanc) and a smooth, spicy red, such as a Zinfandel.

5. If you want to go soup to nuts (literally) and pair a wine with every course, here’s a fun suggestion for a flight:

-Hors d’oeuvres: Champagne or sparkling wine -Soup/salad course: Dry, simple white (Sauvignon Blanc, white Bordeaux, Chablis, Sancerre) -Light main course (fish or other seafood): More full-bodied white (white Burgundy) or light red (Pinot Noir) -Rich, heavy main course: red Zinfandel, Barolo, Cabernet Sauvignon -Dessert: Sauternes, Pinot Blanc, Gewurtzraminer

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